March 9, 2019- Bin’s Medical Exam

Today we went to the clinic for Bin’s medical exam for his exit immigrant visa.  All of the families on our adoption schedule met in the hotel lobby and we loaded the bus to head to the clinic.  Before going into the clinic we made a stop on another floor of the building to file his application.  From there we jumped onto the elevator and got off at the medical floor.  There were several other American adoptive families there, waiting with their children.  The first station was the eyes, ears, nose and throat station.  Bin sat in a chair while someone wearing one of those old fashioned headbands with the reflector on it checked out all the holes in his head.  

Once that was done, he headed to the next station which was an eye exam. He was tested for color blindness and given an eye chart exam; both of which he passed with flying colors.  

The next station was the one we were not looking forward to; the Tuberculosis test station where he would get his blood drawn.  We were not allowed to go into the room with him this time.  While we waited for our turn we watched children go into the room alone while the staff shut the door.  A few minutes later there could usually be heard crying from the other side.  When the door opened the staff would hand off the crying child to the parents to comfort them and get on with their lives.  When it was Bin’s turn he didn’t seem too scared. I’m not sure how close he had been paying attention to the before and after scenarios of what went on behind that door, but if so he didn’t give any indication. We huddled in front of the door waiting for him, listening for crying, screaming, etc.  We never heard anything and when the door finally opened he came out, not crying but looking none too happy nonetheless.  We sat in my lap while I held pressure on his arm where they had drawn his blood.  We had tissues and candy ready for him.  He didn’t need the tissues and wasn’t interested in the candy.  The very last station was a head to toe exam by a physician.  He sat in a chair while the doctor looked him over, turning his head, bending his arms and legs, asking him questions, etc.  Then she had him lie down on an exam table and examined his torso.  She told us he was healthy, and also smart, based on the math questions she quizzed him with during her questions.  

The whole thing took about 30 minutes, in between waiting for his turn and getting examined. 

Once that was over we headed back to the hotel.   We spent the rest of the day napping, lounging, and generally resting and doing nothing.  For dinner we walked across the street to a noodle café that would become one of our regular places during our time here.  We could all four fill up on delicious food for about $8.00. Can't beat that!

March 7, 2019- A day “off”

March 8, 2019- Leave Kunming and travel to Guangzhou

Today was the first day we had no set appointments or obligations.  We all slept in a little bit and then met Susan in the lobby about 9:30 am after breakfast.  T

Our Wonderful Guide, Susan

he only thing planned today was a visit to the Kunming Ethnic Village.  The Yunnan province has 26 ethnic minorities.  This outdoor part/museum has buildings, displays, and people dressed to represent each of them all in one place.  The park was elaborately landscaped and the costumes and buildings were just as impressive.  We were able to visit different representations of life within these groups, see examples of their homes, how they dressed, and how they lived their lives.  It was educational, fun, and relaxing.  We strolled the park throughout the morning, taking pictures and just enjoying the beautiful day.  Rhonda, Abigail, and Bin got to try on outfits and shoes and came back with some fun souvenirs as well.  

On the way back to the hotel we treated Abigail to McDonald’s. She has been so wonderful with Bin since he’s been with us.  She has been attentive to his every need and goes out of her way to look after him and make sure he is happy and well fed every minute of the day.  Travelling will test anyone’s patience, and a family of four thrown together in close quarters in a new place while trying to get to know each other and navigate the ins and outs of a place we know little about is enough to push you over the edge if you’re not careful.  We have been so proud of her patience and maturity throughout the trip.  Her only request has been to get a Big Mac for dinner or lunch, so we granted her wish today.  I’m not going to lie though- it was a nice treat to eat some familiar junk food again for the parents as well.  We got Bin a hamburger; we don’t think he’s ever had one before.  He ate about a third of it before deciding it wasn’t for him.  Later in the day we all walked to Wal-Mart and strolled through the aisles letting him point out the snacks and ramen cup of noodles flavors that he liked the best.  We stocked up on those so he would always have something to eat that he liked while we were travelling.  He also picked out a box of Oreos as well.  He likes those a lot, and that runs in the family.  

Our Wal-Mart never had this!

Friday we packed up our bags and said goodbye to Kunming as we boarded the plane for the next city.  Susan met us in the hotel lobby and gave me Bin’s newly minted Chinese passport.  She got us checked in at the airport and saw us through security before saying goodbye.  She was a great guide and we will miss both her and Mr. G, our driver while we were in Kunming.  We have them each a small gift when we parted ways and Susan gave Rhonda some pretty embroidered coasters.  The rest of the day was spent on the plane and travelling to Guangzhou for the next round of appointments and paperwork.  Our next guide, Simon, met us at the airport in Guangzhou and put us in a van to the Garden Hotel.  He had to meet some other families coming in later that night and so he stayed behind at the airport while we headed to the hotel.  Dinner was hamburgers and spaghetti in the hotel restaurant before we all crashed out for the night. 

Garden Hotel lobby

View from our room

March 6, 2019- Zhaotong Orphanage Visit

On Thursday we took a long day trip to visit Bin’s orphanage in Zhotong.  Zhaotong was about an hour from Kunming by airplane.  The agency told us that visiting the orphanage was optional, but there was never any doubt in our minds that we would.  This is the place that Bin had known as his only home since he was about two weeks old.  The people who had done such a tremendous job caring for him and raising him until he came to us were all here, and it was crucially important to us that we see this wonderful place, meet the exceptional people, and experience first hand where he came from.  We met our guide Tessie  in the hotel lobby at 7:30am and headed to the airport.  Our regular guide Susan was busy expediting Bin’s passport on this day so we had a different guide for this one day.  The flight was only about an hour.  Once there we divided into two taxis and drove to the orphanage.  Abigail and I rode together and we packaged gifts in the car on the way.  The taxi dropped us off on a big street close to the orphanage.  Before going in, we walked across the street to a noodle café for lunch and ate. 

The weather was chilly and rainy on this day.  After lunch we walked back across the street to the orphanage, where we were met by one of the nice ladies who had been with Bin on his Gotcha Day.  She led us past the security gate into the courtyard and pointed out the different buildings.  There were murals painted on some of the exterior walls.  The courtyard was landscaped very nicely with flower beds.  We were led into the main building where the dorm rooms where. 

Exterior photo

President, one of the directors, some of the staff

The first room we visited was where Bin stayed.  There were several child sized beds in the room and colorful scenes and characters painted on the walls. Bin showed us which bed had been his.  There were several nannies in the room along with some other people.  We were introduced to the president of the orphanage, a very business-like but friendly man, along with two of the directors; one male and one female.  We gave the president and the directors the gifts we had brought for them.  They told us about the room and showed us which bed Bin had slept in. 

Bin’s bed

Bin and Abba by his bed

Bin, Abba, and Nanny

In an amusing reversal, these nannies wanted to adopt Abigail! They kept caressing her face and taking selfies with her.  Abigail didn't mind at all 😅

We were very impressed with the cleanliness and cheerfulness of the rooms.  There were probably about eight other children in the room.  These children had varying degrees of special needs.  One of them appeared outwardly to have no special needs, while other children were lying in beds, unable to walk on their own or speak.  The staff took time to introduce of to the children in the room and tell us a little bit about each one.  The children who could communicate and interact looked at us with big smiles.  We had brought a giant bag of lollipops for the children.  Bin scooped up handfuls from the bag and went around to the other children delivering several to each child.  We fell in love with every child in the place.  Even a lot of the children who were unable to sit up and could only lie in bed looking up smiled when we would go over to them and talk to them.  From Bin’s room we moved on to see the other rooms.  We probably visited about 6 different dorm rooms in all.  Each room had children ranging in age from a few months to even young teenagers.  The older kids appeared to have the freedom to leave their own dorms and visit the others, as one of the children from Bin’s room did as he followed us around on the tour.  During a stop at one room, as soon as we walked in we were immediately met by a sweet faced smiling little bundle of joy who squeeled and ran up to me with his arms out, wanted to be picked up.  He was so adorable it was almost unreal.  He was probably about three years old and he probably had Down Syndrome.  He was the happiest little baby boy I had ever met in my life.  He spent the whole time alternating between me and Rhonda, wanting to be picked up and hugged and cuddled.  I hope with all my heart someone adopts him soon so they can enjoy his smile and snuggles.  Rhonda sat in a rocking chair bottle feeding a sweet little girl who was about nine months old.  She totally fell in love with her too.  It’s probably a good thing that the adoption process takes as long as it does, otherwise we probably would have left that place with about ten additional kids.  It was both heartbreaking and heartwarming to meet these children and spend time with them.  They were all so sweet and innocent, and it made us sad to think that many of them may never know the love of a permanent family.  On the bright side, it was very evident that the people who ran the orphanage and cared for these children did so out of love.  It was not merely a job for them but a calling.  Bin was in a great mood on this day because he was the center of attention and the star of the show.  He got to lead his new family around the place and show us the different rooms, friends, and nannies that he had known during his life.  He was proud of this place and with good reason.  After touring the dorm rooms we were led to a large room with couches where we sat for the rest of the day and had opportunities to chat with the nannies, ask questions about Bin and his life, and learn more about him.  They told us that he was very intelligent and that he loved to read and recite poetry.  They convinced him to recite some poetry from memory for us while we were there and we loved it.  They told us he loved to color and work on his school work.  While we were there they brought him several coloring books and workbooks to send with him when we left.  We spent the rest of the time playing and visiting. At the end of the day, the staff had dinner for us in the administration building.  We all gathered around a large round table where the cook began to bring out dish after amazing dish of mouthwatering food.  It was a true feast and it was delicious. 

Dinner photo

We had a great time eating and drinking wine with the staff.  After dinner we took a few last photos and headed back to the airport.  On the way to the car we managed to gather some small rocks and pebbles from some of the flower beds so that we could give them to Bin when he is older.  Credit goes to our friend Tyla who suggested this wonderful idea and asked if we could bring a few for her daughter as well.  Tylas and her husband Steve had adopted a sweet girl from the same orphanage several months before, and coincidentally live only about twenty minutes from us.  We are so grateful that Bin will have one of his lifelong playmates close by once we are back home halfway across the world again.

It was a long but wonderful day for all of us.  Rhonda, Bin, and Abigail fell asleep in the car on the way back to the airport. 

Pooped

We were also able to exchange chat contacts with the staff so that we could send them updates and photos in the future.   We are very grateful for the opportunity for a peak at Bin’s life before he came to us.

A three year old little Bin from a newspaper article about the orphanage a few years ago

The opportunity to visit Bin’s orphanage was a huge a privilege.  We have met several families that weren’t given the option to do this.  It often depends on the individual orphanage policy as well as geographic location, etc.  We will be forever grateful to Small World Adoption and the orphanage staff for this wonderful opportunity.  

March 5th, 2019 (Part 2)- A little more paperwork and a little free time

The day after Gotcha Day we all went back to the civil affairs office to finalize the rest of the adoption paperwork for Bin.  A couple of the people from the orphanage were there again and they were so happy to see Bin smiling and happy.  He remembered the building from the day before and entered with some trepidation but it was a different boy who entered today.  Bin and Abigail played while we finished the rest of the paperwork.  We weren’t there very long, and then we were off to the next stop to get his passport photo taken and then apply for his passport.  We were free for the rest of the day so Susan offered to take us through the scenic park by the hotel in the afternoon.  There was a large, beautiful lake with tons of seagulls in and around it, beautiful landscaping and traditional buildings.  We also went to a jewelry store that specialized in jade.  The kids had fun running along the lakefront and feeding the seagulls.  It was a relaxing day for all of us.  

The icing on the cake was that our luggage finally arrived at our hotel about 7:00pm after being without it for three days.  I was starting to have doubts that we’d ever see it again so it was real cause for celebration.  It was like Christmas for all of us, opening the luggage and pulling out our favorite things, promising to never take them for granted again. It was especially great for Bin because we were finally able to give him his new backpack, toys and clothes that we had bought for him in the states. 

March 5, 2019- The first 24 hours

We have been amazed by how well Bin is doing.  He has not cried at all since he has been with us.  He is fiercely independent, wanting to do things for himself without help if he can manage it.  As a last resort he will come to us to help with something if he needs it.  One thing he lets us help him with a lot is rolling his shirt sleeves up.  He’ll walk up to us and point to his sleeves while holding his arms out.  As I have mentioned before, Bin was considered special focus in the orphanage because of his hands and feet.  He has apparently had surgery on both hands and both feet while he was an infant.  The orphanage wasn’t able to provide much insight into exactly what they did but we may be able to find out more when we have a US orthopedist examine him back home.  His right hand has one digit and his left hand has two fingers.  Each of his feet has two toes; one laterally and one medially.  We were told that there was pretty much nothing he couldn’t do in terms of limitations.  We have seen it first-hand since we’ve had him.   It has been fascinating to watch him go through his day and see the ways he uses his hands to do things.  One thing I was really curious about was how he writes and eats.  When he colors and writes he holds the pencil in his right hand (he’s right handed) and then steadies the top with his left hand.  He loves coloring and he is absolutely meticulous and focused when he colors.  He stays in the lines perfectly and pauses for thoughtful contemplation when changing colors.  At meals we give him chopsticks, forks, spoons, etc and just watch to see what he chooses.  He actually is perfectly proficient with everything and uses whichever utensil works best for the job at the time. 

When he smiles I think the room actually brightens.  We are constantly trying to read his mind and his thoughts, wondering what’s going through his head.  His expressions usually give very little away as to what’s going on in his little head.  But when breaks out in that sweet smile or adorable laugh, it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.  His joy and enthusiasm shine like a star and it is immediately contagious.  

He is also 100% pure little boy mischief.  He is into everything and loves to run off whenever he pleases.  We have gotten plenty of exercise chasing after him and taking things away from him that he shouldn’t have.  He is also a professional prankster. His favorite prank is to pretend that he either lost something or can’t reach something when in fact its in his pocket or he’s already grabbed it and he’s hiding it while getting someone to help him look for it.  He’s officially been put in charge of the hotel room key and he takes his responsibility seriously.  Before leaving the room he goes around and turns off all the lights, picks up the key, shows us that he has it, and then carefully places it in his pocket for safe keeping.  He’s also in charge of all elevator operation as well.  So far his favorite game is hide and seek.  Its amazing how many places he and his sister have managed to find to hide in our hotel room.  He is innovative as well.  We ordered take out and back and the room realized we had no silverware.  Abigail was eating spaghetti while the rest of us had burgers or soup. Bin decided that the ice bucket tongs were the perfect utensil for spaghetti and came to Abigail’s rescue with them by feeding her with them.  They were cracking each other up the whole time.  He already looks up to his sister.  He won’t wear his jacket unless he sees her put hers on first.  He constantly looks to her example for when its time to play, act crazy, get ready for bed, or get into mischief.  We are so thankful for him and for how well things have gone with him so far.  It’s the beginning of a beautiful life for our new family. 

Gotcha Day: March 4, 2019

The Crow Family is officially a party of four!  

That’s it in a nutshell.  Its hard to even know where to start with trying to relate the experience of meeting our new son Bin for the first time.  What a process, and what emotions.  Our guide Susan picked us up in our hotel lobby about 2:15pm and took us to the civil affairs office where we would meet Bin for the first time, fill out paperwork, ask and answer questions, and then leave with our new son!  We were brought into a large room with couches and a conference table.  Our guide started scurrying around with numerous other people, all women, and compiling paperwork and chatting quickly among themselves.  There was an acute sense of swift efficiency about them.  Another couple came into the room shortly after us. They were from Italy and meeting their two year old son for the first time.  We got a sneak peak of our immediate future when a lady walked into the room with a sweet tiny boy, who turned out to be the other couple’s son.  He took one look at the couple and immediately burst into tears and started crying.  Our hearts went out to all of them and we felt intrusive being in there to witness the whole thing.  We tried our best to awkwardly try to give them as much privacy as one could give being in the same open room with someone else.  A few minutes later it was our turn. 

I’ve used the analogy of the adoption process to pregnancy.  Months and months of waiting, preparation, anticipation, joy, and a little bit of fear.  This was the labor and delivery room and our son was about to come into our world.  The main difference was that this time, he would walk through the door on his own two feet.  He would know exactly what is about to happen. He would take one look at his new family, make an immediate first impression judgement, and act on his feelings with complete disregard to anyone or anything.  But hey, no pressure right?

When they turned the corner and came into the room with Bin, our hearts melted just as they did the first time we saw his picture.  Coincidentally, he was also wearing the exact same outfit that he had on in the last photo of him that we were sent.  Gotta give them props for truth in advertising!

As they slowly approached us, Bin was straight-faced and stoic. I couldn’t help but immediately start viewing the whole experience through his eyes.  He had to be absolutely terrified.  As soon as the other adoption officials and nannies saw him come into the room they descended on him and surrounded him. They all started talking to him at once, pointing to us, smiling, and immediately nudging him forward towards these weirdos he was expected to leave with today for the rest of his life.  Not surprisingly, that’s when he lost it.  The brave face disappeared and the tears began to roll.  The crying and abject horror on his sweet little face was heartbreaking.  We all smiled and waved at him and tried our best to say “hello” in Chinese.  They tried to console him for several minutes to no avail while he slowly backed into a corner.  We tried to get close enough to interact with him without totally invading his personal space.  We had brought toys for him and chocolate candy, hoping it would be a good ice breaker.  This poor kid wanted nothing to do with any of it.  We held out these trifles to him and he shook his head and backed away.  It was as if by accepting any of these, he would be signing an irrevocable contract where he agreed to leave everything he’d ever known and go off with these strangers into the unknown forever.  He was no fool, and he wasn’t about to fall for that trick. 

Eventually the paperwork was done, the tears had temporarily run out, the group photos were taken, and there was nothing left to do but leave with our new son.  Bin fought for his very life as his poor nannies carried out the unenviable task of manhandling the poor crying, thrashing child into this van full of complete strangers who were kidnapping him.  It didn’t help that he then watched them get into their own car and drive away, while we immediately followed them out the gate.  He stood between me and Rhonda, refusing to sit, reaching out towards the car in front while sobbing and crying out for them.

The ride back to the hotel was about 45 minutes.  This was just the amount of time in took Bin to cry out his store of tears until exhaustion.  Our guide talked to him the whole way and although I couldn’t understand what they were saying, I could tell Bin was doing his level best to convince this lady that all of this was a terrible mistake and she was the only one who could save him.  About five minutes before arriving at the hotel, he seemed to resign himself to his fate and became quiet.  At the hotel, we got out, said goodbye to Susan (our guide and the only person who could translate for us), and began the walk to our hotel room as a family of four. 

As we walked off the elevators to head to our room, we turned a corner- both literally and figuratively.  When we came into the hotel room, Bin paused to look around and take measure of the place.  He nonchalantly walked around on a self-tour, checking the bathrooms, closets, and corners.  Afterwards he sat down on the couch and started playing with the small etch a sketch we had brought for him.  He turned out to absolutely love that thing, so score one for the new big sister who picked it out at the store before we left for China. 

We gave him some space and time to decompress while offering water, snacks, toys, etc. now and then.  Slowly, he began to accept our offers. He became interested in the toys, drank the water and juice we offered him, and started munching on the snacks.  Abigail was so sweet and patient with him.  She attended to him vigilantly, immediately ready at the slightest perception of anything he might need. By dinner time he was happily playing, laughing, smiling, playing peek-a-boo around the door with his new family and laughing hysterically when we acted surprised.  We walked across the street to a local restaurant for an early dinner before heading back to the room for the night.  

He happily accepted his new Spider Man pajamas. When we started getting the beds ready for the night he immediately went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth without being asked.  He came out and sat on the side of the bed and took off his shoes and socks, carefully placing them next to the bed.  At the orphanage the children put their shoes and socks on before getting out of bed so he would do that whenever he got up to go to the bathroom.  He also impressed us by automatically picking up all his toys and belongings and neatly placing them together in one corner of the room.  It didn’t take long for all of us to pass out after getting ready for bed.  We were all physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted from the day we had just had together.  But we went to bed happy, as a newly completed family of four.  It was an amazing day.

Just a quick initial entry before we head out to meet our son today!  We made it to Kunming!... without our luggage L. Due to a mechanical issue on our first leg we almost didn’t make it here at all.  We had three flights that had to go right in order to make it to Kunming by 11:35 pm on March 3 for our Gotcha day on Monday, March 4^th.  If we didn’t get here in time it could have thrown a HUGE wrench into our entire trip because each appointment could only be completed after the previous one. Gotcha days are apparently only scheduled on Mondays so if we missed ours it would mean at least another week before we could start the process again.  But, we did finally make it at least and I am so grateful for that.  We arrived with nothing but the clothes on our backs, but at least we are all here in time and that’s the main thing.  We met our guide Susan at the airport, who lives here in Kunming.  She was extremely friendly and helpful.  She got us checked into our hotel and then this morning took us to Walmart to buy some clothes to wear since we didn’t have any.  Theoretically our luggage is still on its way to China and it might arrive tomorrow (Tuesday).  We’re a little bummed because one of the suitcases had all our gifts that we brought to give to people throughout the process, but Susan said not to worry about it for now. 

So today is March 4^th, our “Gotcha Day”, where our guide Susan will pick us up at the hotel and take us to the Civil Affairs office to meet Bin for the first time and complete paperwork for his adoption.  We’ll get a chance to ask questions and learn more about him while we are there before we leave with him as an official family of four.  We are all super excited and a little nervous as we have been waiting for this day for about a year and four months.  Its surreal to finally be here in China and knowing that today is the big day.  We have a few clothes for him that we’re not sure will fit, and we have some toys and candy bars for him because he told us he loves chocolate.  I told him he gets that from his Nana Crow.  And his dad… and mom… and sister.  He’ll fit right in with this family.  I can’t imagine what must be going through his mind as he gets handed off to these funny looking people for all eternity. People who don’t look like him, and don’t speak like him.  People who really can’t understand a word he says and whom he won’t be able to understand either.  I find that prospect pretty terrifying as an adult, and I can’t imagine what it must be like for a six year old boy. We are heavily counting on our charades skills and a plethora of iPhone apps (which have already proved all but useless) to communicate with each other in the beginning.  Luckily, we are confident that everything will be fine based on seeing the process go well with so many other lucky families.  What we know for sure is that he will be loved to the moon and back, and that will take us all a long way as a family.  Here we go, wish us luck!